are you so shy because you have an std?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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