"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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