Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
