OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
