with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
