remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
