That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
