I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
