He asked me if I "almost moaned"
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
