What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
