Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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