Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
