My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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