Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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