it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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