Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
