we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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