I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
