Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
