tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
