hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize
