some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I need to calm my uterus...
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
