physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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