You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize