i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
