HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
