Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
