Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
