I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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