Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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