I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
