i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
