yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
