I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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