The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
