i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
