I could make wine with my vomit
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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