Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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