i think my tv is drunk
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
