Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
