lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I FOUND THE LEGS
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
