she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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