I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
