we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Randomize
