I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
