dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
