Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
