we're blogging at a bar
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You don't make any sense
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