I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
pop tarts are not kleenex
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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