My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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