When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
