Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
