WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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